My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
