What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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