It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
