They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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