even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
