Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
