i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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