so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize