to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize