he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
