I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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