Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
