gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
