I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
