i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
