I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
