we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
