Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
