My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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