Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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