I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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