So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
