i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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