I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
