They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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