Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
