Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
