ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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