I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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