I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
