Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
