i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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