My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
