why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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