i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize