At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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