we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
