Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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