We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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