i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize