She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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