well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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