i already hear my dad disowning me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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