the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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