I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
