I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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