Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
