I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
