I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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