ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
