pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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