Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
