No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your penis caused this!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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