More tranny stories later!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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