So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
