btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
