where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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