i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
