I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
