so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize