i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
